Chapter 1 Stephanie
-What is love? Sometimes I found myself asking that, what it really means, what it is its real value- I said.
-Ms Gomez please be clear, we are talking about somebody else`s life here-
-I’m sorry your honor-
-Please explain to me more clearly how are you going to sustain your brother having just 18 years old?-
-I can’t right now-
-Excuse me?-
-I cannot do it right now, I’m just asking for a chance to prove it-
-¿How?-
-Your honor will decide the way-
I saw an indeterminable question mark drawing in the 50 year old women sitting above me. Putting her hand on her chick swinging forward slightly saying: -Ok then, this court will give you the period of time of One year to prove the substantial and material qualifications to sustain your 11 years old young brother, because of the history of your parents, you will not receive any assistance from a civilian born citizen of this country. Will be prohibited marriage or relationship of any kind that influences the agreement established here. Case # 345 closed.-
-Thank you your honor-
-Young lady consider yourself lucky, this is unusual, do not take advantage of anything and do not take risk. God be with you-
-Thank you again-
-Next meeting will in exactly 365 day from now-
-Yes Sir-
In any way I could express the relieve that came to me in that moment, I knew now that I will have with me the last part of my family, and for anything or anybody will let that go.
I had just 15 minutes to go and pick up my brother from school and go to my next work. I live in Jefferson Boulevard, downtown Los Angeles. Some people think that this is the city where the dreams are made of, but for me, when my nightmares start.
I took the bus with the closest rout to go to my brother’s school. I needed to call him.
-John?-
-Sis?-
-Yes is me. I am sorry, I’m going to be late for pick you up, I got out of job late-
-It is ok-
-I am sorry babe, be there as soon as I can-
-All right, can I play with some friends while you come?-
-off course, but you know the rules…-
-Do not go anywhere-
-If you need help you will-
-inform to an adult that you know… you know that I know the rules-
-Ok, I trust in you little body, play save-
-arrive save-
-Thank you, love you-
-love you too-
When I hung up the phone, that feeling of insecurity came back to me, something was not right I was sure. When the bus stopped I run directly to the school having not good thoughts, I knew, I knew for real that something was going on to my brother. Tears started to went down my face while I was running through the street. I saw an ambulance in front of the school.
-John?- I screamed, no answer. - !John?!- I repeat his name over and over again. When i was closer to the ambulance I saw a little boy in the ambulance’s stratcher, I panic, it was indeed my little brother with an oxygen mask on his face, eyes closed and purple lips. -¡JOHN!- I screamed again throwing me over him with the hope of waking him up.
-Ms Gomez?- talked somebody in my back –Ms Gomez?- asked again.
-What happen? ¡For God's sake tell me what happened!- I saw it was the school director Mr. Fitz.
-He was playing with Jonny Lepty and randomly pass out. The paramedic does not know what caused this, is just taking him to the hospital to make sure it's nothing serious.-
-Oh God…-
-Any family to come with him?- said the paramedic.
-I’m his sister- said in reply.
-Ms Gomez?-
-Yes Mr. Fitz?-
-If you need anything please let me know-
-Thank you Mr. Fitz- I wasn’t sure about him, but he always look to be a good person to me. Kindness,such a lost value.
In the ambulance I was holding John’s hand. It was getting colder and colder, my mind was afraid of what could happen to him, one year not a good period of time to lose anybody else again, not again repeat to myself, not again.
I had a flashback from many years ago. We went to the beach and John was a little baby, it was his first time walking and playing with the sea’s water while I was trying to build a sand castle with mom. Dad was trying to make john to say beach as his first word, it didn’t work, Sis was his first word, above everything else, he picked me.
Hour and hours pass and nobody was telling me something about John, I could no freak out more than what I was in that moments. Sitting on a chair, not sitting, laying on it, trying to comfort myself with old memories, not enough to assuage any feelings about anything. With my eyes swollen from both mourn and just before falling asleep, finally saw a doctor approaching me
-John Gomez relatives?-
-Yes Sir, I’m His sister-
-He is now stable-
-What happen?-
-a respiratory attack-
-What? I don’t get it-
-It was caused by the inhalation of air pollution or very fine silica dust that affected the growth of the lung cells…-
-What is that mean?-
-Cancer-
-Cancer?- At that time I stopped breathing, my throat and my mind did not respond either. The panic hit me off guard and cannot do anything about it-Can I… Can I see him?-.
-Of course, but he is sleeping for the medication that we gave him-
-Ok-
He drove me through hallways with hundreds of doors. We arrive to one big hallway door that said “ICU”(Intensive Care Unit) in big white letters. I took a deep breath trying to prepare myself for what was coming. Room 305. He stopped at that door and thousands of butterflies were in my stomach, nervous, of what?
-Ms Gomez there is something I need to talk to you before you go in-
-what is it?-
-Your social security program will not cover all the expenses-
-I will get a job-
-I am really sorry, I wish I could help you any way-
-Do you know anybody that could give me a good job?-
-I will call you if I know anything-
-Thank you Doc-
-You are welcome- as he was opening the door-Here he is, the third bed-
I look inside the room… my baby.
-Ahh John…- walked to his bed and give him a hug, crying. I cry, and cry, and cry until I felt sleep in his lap, wondering if someday anything will get better.
